STARTING SUMMER ON THE WRONG TOE

It's been quite a slow week for us here at home.  My work season has been averagely busy, but since it's driven by the world economy, it's expected.  We've completed the majority of our autism workshops, including our in class ABA training.  And of course, the school year is quickly coming to a close.

But that doesn't mean that something unexpected can't happen at anytime.  And for those of us with kids on the spectrum, the unexpected seems to happen at the worst time.

Which brings me to this.  Last week, on Thursday, Jacob and his mom were playing around the house.  Normally this consists of us giving Jacob a few seconds to run and hide before one of us comes looking.  Well, this time, something bad happened.  In our living room we have an antique sideboard against the wall that leads to the kitchen.  So Shannie told Jacob to start running.  And as he turned to escape her outstretched hand, KAPOW!  Jacob ran right into the sideboard.

He ended up with a huge scrape across his chest from the corner of the sideboard, but worst of all, he kicked his foot on the bottom of the unit too.

Here's the culprit.

Since I helped move the sideboard when we bought it, I know how heavy it is.  And when I heard the thud, then the crying, I knew exactly what had happened.

The scrape was bleeding and it looked terrible, but we knew it would heal quickly, but Jacob's foot looked even worse the next day.  His second toe was almost completely purple and of course he was unable/unwilling to put any weight on it what so ever.  And since our bathrooms are either upstairs or downstairs, we let Jacob pee in a bucket.

After the weekend went by, Jacob began climbing the stairs again, but we felt that he was kind of milking his injury.  Then on Monday, his school had a day trip to a park that was fully equipped with a pool and all kinds of cool activities.  So when Jacob said that he didn't want to go we knew he was serious.

We sent him to school today and yesterday, but he was limping the whole time.  And of course his behaviour reflected his physical condition.  So needless to say, he didn't get much accomplished in class what so ever.  Thankfully next week is the last week of school, but we're sure that he'll be fine by then.  We plan on keeping Jacob socially busy this summer as long as it's not too hot and humid.  Hopefully his toe will be a normal colour and he'll be able to walk to the pool and park.  If not, it's looks like I'll be carrying him around on my back.

ABA AND THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS

Jacob's school year is quickly drawing to a close.  And we definitely need the break from the daily grind of going to and from school, as well as the regular social/behavioural difficulties that we face on a daily basis.  But this summer is going to be different for all of us here, because we're going to be taking a different approach when it comes to Jacob's off season.

Firstly, Shannie and I have vowed to take Jacob out every day, even when it's scorching hot, just to expose him to as many different social settings as we possibly can.  So between his summer trips, swimming at the rec centre and playing at the many parks in our neighbourhood, Jacob's summer should be both exciting and exhausting.  We've found that social settings is where Jacob seems to be having the most trouble.  He always seems to want to be able to control every aspect of an outing, including other people.  But as he gets older, this becomes more and more impossible, so we collectively have to work harder and harder.

Plus, Shannie and I are planning to enroll in a couple more workshops that will teach us how to help Jacob during some difficult social situations.  These workshops, with the ongoing ABA therapy sessions, should help Jacob make great strides during the upcoming months.  They seem to be at least bi weekly so, there should be a steady stream of new ideas and strategies going through our home this summer.

We've always found that the transition Jacob goes through every summer when it comes time to go back to school, often makes his first couple months of class time less than ideal.  And next year, Jacob will be in grade 4, which means more difficult school work and more responsibilities, which we pray he can handle.

None the less, we're prepared for anything, much like most parents of aspie kids.  Because we've found that no matter how hard we work at things, or how many workshops that we enroll in, there's always the potential for something unexpected to happen.  But since the beginning of our ABA therapy sessions, both Shannie and I have learned to not have unrealistic expectations of Jacob and ourselves.  It seems that we want to control all aspects of Jacob's life, yet we always seem to be telling him that he can't be in control all the time.

Oh well, at least we'll be together as a family and if the summer gets hot and we find ourselves bored, we can just look forward to September and be thankful for the time that we do have together.

A CLASS TRIP TO THE WESTFIELD HERITAGE VILLAGE

As the title of this post said, Jacob had a class trip today, to the Westfield Heritage Village.  I had to work so my wife Shannie was going in my place.  And my wife is very skilled in dealing with jacobs behaviour.  I'm not going to get into the location of the trip, I'm just going to jump into Jacob's behaviour.

The school buses departed from school at 11:00AM, which of course, threw our class trip schedule out the window.  Normally when going on a class trip, we are able to withhold breakfast until we get to the destination.  But since they didnt leave until later, we had to give Jacob something to eat.

Well, that didn't go too well with Jacobs car sickness, so naturally, he barfed everywhere.  Now this really set the tone for the day.  Jacob immediately became grumpy and Shannie quickly sprang into action.  She changed Jacob into a fresh set of clothes and tried to cheer him up.  The key word being "try".

Jacob then really became moody after not being allowed to go into a restricted area.  Normally Jacob doesn't swear, but today was exceptional from the start.  After Shannie refused his request to explore the restricted area, with a tear in his eye, he called his mother a stupid "b".

I know, devasting.  My wife almost began crying when she heard what Jacob said.  Jacobs EA also heard what he said and took over so Shannie could have a second to regain her composure.  She quickly took Jacob back to the bus for some quiet time.  And she was really calm and surprisingly supportive of what Jacob was going through.  He had puked twice, had a meltdown, had immediately noticeable remorse for what he said and was crying all within the first hour of being there.

During the recent ABA therapy sessions we learned that quite often, a child's behaviour will get worse before it gets better.  Unfortunately Jacob is going down that very path.  This Thursday in our next ABA session, we're going to learn how to deal with certain problem behaviours and this class can't come too soon.

The nice thing is that Jacob is already showing emotional growth since the Spring.  He was extremely sorry and he even put himself on a timeout when he got home.  Oh the joys of aspergers.  Hopefully with all this training and workshops that we've been doing, things will improve even more, because I don't know if I could handle being called a name like Shannie was called.  I know we have to sty calm at all times, but we're only human.  So the sooner Jacob gets a handle on his emotions, the better we'll all be.

INDEPENDENCE (DURING BATH TIME) AND ASPERGERS

Lately, I've been reading a lot of posts about encouraging independence, and the associated stress, in kids with ASDs.  We too worry about these things all the time almost on a daily basis.  Will my son go to college or university?  Will he have a family?  And sometimes we wonder if he'll be able to have a place of his own.

While Jacob is only 9 years old right now, the past decade has flown by and time doesn't seem to be slowing down.  Then when my wife and I talk about how in another 10 years (or another blink), Jacob will be an adult.  gasp!  We become very anxious and we hope that we've done all that we could by the time that occurs.  For us, independence seemed to come naturally, as it does for many, but for Jacob, independence takes some practise.

But for now, we're still focusing on the little things, like encouraging Jacob to bathe on his own.  Normally we have to give Jacob reminders in what order to wash things.  But now he likes the door shut and the fan on when bathing, so prompting him is a little more difficult.  Lately we've been giving Jacob complete privacy while bathing.  But a couple times when we've asked him if he's nearly done bathing, he actually hasn't started because, as he puts it, "I don't know what to do next?"

So we asked Jacobs autism worker to create a flow chart with pictures that's water proof so we can hang it in the bathroom across from the tub.  Hopefully this will encourage Jacob to be independent during bath time, because we as neurotypical people, take this for granted.  While people like Jacob, may need some simple reminders to help him focus.

It seems simple, but often enough, simple works.  Once it's completed we'll implement it immediately, and we'll be sure to take a picture and share it.  Because I wish I'd began using these charts a long time go.  But we can't dwell on the past.  So we keep moving forward, because our young son does too.