Hi everyone and thanks for visiting our blog. My wife and I created this blog to chronicle our experience while raising a son with Asperger's syndrome. Since our son was diagnosed with an ASD at age 5, we've had a lot of questions. Lucky for us we have a great support network in place. And our blog gives us an opportunity to share what we've learned with our readers. We hope you find our blog informative and interesting. Thanks again for visiting.

"It seems that for success in science and art, a dash of autism is essential." Dr Hans Asperger 1906-1980

Tuesday, 12 February 2013


Jacob and Max
Today was a sad day for my family, but  mostly for my wife and my son.  Today was supposed to be the happy end of a horrible chapter in our lives.  Today was our small claims trial which revolved around the death of our dog Max the poodle on Christmas Day of 2010.  But instead of it being happy, it was ultimately sad because our case was dismissed and we were awarded nothing.

Nothing for the vet bills we had to incur because of our new dog.  Nothing for the value of Chico or replacement value for Max.  And worst of all, nothing for the emotional trauma that Jacob suffered that day.  While the judge was sympathetic, there was nothing she could do.  And the reasons were as follows.

1.  We got no money for vet bills or neutering because we didn't include that in the original claim.  Although we did include them with the amended claim.  A claim that was amended after our city pressed charges against the dog's owner.  All this in spite the fact that a judge at a settlement conference told us to amend it so these costs were included.

2.  The value of the dog we lost wasn't awarded because again, it wasn't in the original claim.  Even though, a previous judge told me to amend and include it and it was submitted into evidence in the prescribed time lines.

3.  The reason that no money was awarded for Jacob's emotional trauma, even though the judge accepted his medical reports was, and get this, "because your son wasn't listed as a plaintiff and he didn't testify as a witness."  At no previous hearing did any judge tell us that my son would have to be a plaintiff or witness.

Really?  The first 2 were clerical errors on our part that anyone could make.  I could raise a fit about how a judge and city clerk advised us to do it just like we did, but why bother?  A judge doesn't have to admit or accept anything they feel isn't allowable.  But were we expected to list Jacob as a plaintiff and have him testify about what happened that day?

And if he were a plaintiff, would we have to bring him to court on each of the 4 times we went?  Only to relive things again?  And then today, would he have had to wait 3 hours in the lobby, then explain what he saw that day, if he even would or could?

Then of course he'd have to answer the other guys lawyer's questioning right?

When I consider the emotional strain that my son has been through already, there's no way we would have put him through all of this extra stuff.  Jacob has been through enough in his life and to make a boy with aspergers relive the worst event in his life, over and over again, just doesn't seem worth it.

 In the end it really doesn't matter anyway.  Being made financially whole wouldn't have changed much, nor would it have helped Jacob's issues.  It would've have likely made things worse for Jacob.  Are we typical aspie parents or what?  During a horrible time, we find, and focus on the good.  Because that's what we always do, and we'll continue to do just that, no matter what.

Jacob and Chico


  1. I'm so sorry about what happened today in court. I know it's tough! It seems like just having Jacob's psychologist testify and or the grief counselor would have been enough. Maybe Jacob should file a claim of his own if you still want to pursue justice. Couldn't he do that since he wasn't on the original claim. Maybe the statute of limitations has run out? Sometimes I guess it's just better to move on though. Tough call especially when you want justice for something or someone you love.

    1. Thanks for the comment. I think it's time to let go and move on. We have to do what's best for Jacob at times like these. But what can you do? You live you learn.