Hi everyone and thanks for visiting our blog. My wife and I created this blog to chronicle our experience while raising a son with Asperger's syndrome. Since our son was diagnosed with an ASD at age 5, we've had a lot of questions. Lucky for us we have a great support network in place. And our blog gives us an opportunity to share what we've learned with our readers. We hope you find our blog informative and interesting. Thanks again for visiting.

"It seems that for success in science and art, a dash of autism is essential." Dr Hans Asperger 1906-1980

Thursday, 28 June 2012


Yesterday was Jacob's third at home, grief counselling session.  And the subject of today was forgiveness.  It's hard for us to imagine Jacob being emotionally able to forgive Roxy the pit bull, for what she did to Max that day, but it would probably be the best thing for him to do emotionally.

Ever since the attack, when Jacob sees a wildlife show where a crocodile is eating a bird or fish, he'll ask me questions like "Why did that crocodile eat that bird?"  Or "why did that lion hurt that gazelle?"  Then we have to give an honest answer and explain to Jacob "that's nature's way"  and that "lions and crocodiles eat meat."
Jacob seems to understand, but Roxy the pit bull didn't attack Max because she was hungry, she did it because she wanted to, which was likely due to the abuse she faced in her lifetime. 

So one could see how forgiving Roxy could be far more difficult for Jacob, than it would be for a regular child.  But Jacob did a great job at expressing his feelings.  He actually drew some pictures that described how he was feeling.  They were drawn in the borders of houses and each house was described to Shannie and I verbally.  He described each picture like this;

1)  House of Happy (Picture of Max playing)  "Max is playing and everything is okay.  Max is fine.

2)  House of Worry (Roxy is biting Max)    "I'm worried that all bull dogs will bite little dogs."

3)  House of Sad (Max is blue and lying on the ground)  "Max is dead and he's gone."

4)  House of Mad (Jacob is standing over Roxy and Jacob is red)  "I want to hurt Roxy and pull out all her teeth.  I want to hurt her 10 times.  Then she won't be able to hurt Max again.  If Roxy ever comes back I'm going to hurt her."

I almost fell apart after hearing him explain his pictures.  He actually shed a single tear as he left the room and went upstairs.  Which made Shannie begin to cry.  Jacob is so brave and special.  And it's amazing that he was willing to draw pictures to help express how he felt.  The grief therapy sessions are so effective, yet cause so much sadness.  I know that crying and expressing feelings is healthy which is why the counsellor comes back in 3 weeks again. 

Our next court date won't be until the fall of this year, so who knows how many more times Jacob will need therapy.  It won't be until this is done that we can all hopefully put this behind us.  Until then, we'll just keep moving forward together.


  1. You know, the fact he is talking about it and opening up is big. BIG. I'm proud of him. It's so hard for anyone to really come to terms with sad feelings and the fact he's doing it? I'm in awe.

    1. Thanks for the support Liz. we too are shocked at how well he's opening up to someone he's only met a few times. This gives us hope that one day he'll be able to openly talk about what happened without getting too upset.

  2. That is heartbreaking. But it is amazing that he put it into words so honestly and clearly. Poor kid, it's just not fair. Max looks like he was such a sweet pup. I hope things get better for Jacob.

    1. Things will definitely get better, but it'll take time right? We just want to have a nice relaxing summer, so we're keeping our fingers crossed.

  3. I'm so glad Jacob was able to draw the pictures and get those feelings out. That's so amazing! Max looks so cute. Honestly, it would be hard for me to forgive Roxy too.

    1. I was surprised that Jacob was willing to draw too. Kids like him, from what I've read, aren't really into that form of expression. The counsellor told us that the next visit will be another "forgiveness" session. Then we can move on to letting go.