So yesterday I called ahead to make sure things were more quiet. When we got to the rec centre, there was only about 15 people in the whole pool. Then as Jacob and I were playing, I made the ultimate mistake. I splashed Jacob in the face and water got into his eyes.
Let me tell you, that Jacob was furious. I know that Jacob doesn't like to be splashed, but when you're swimming, not splashing can be kind of difficult. So as Jacob sat on the edge of the pool (and a meltdown) one of his school friends began to talk to him about what happened.
Friend: "Jacob, you shouldn't yell at your dad because it can embarrass him and make him angry."
Jacob: "But he splashed water in my eyes!"
Friend: "Then you should get your mom, to take you to the dollar store downtown, and get some goggles so that water won't get into your eyes."
And Jacob's behaviour and emotions took a turn for the better. Had I had that exact conversation with Jacob, he would have exploded, and he would've likely swore off swimming for ever. But it was like the friend totally hit home and made Jacob realise that he wasn't behaving and that there was a simple solution to his problem.
That kid should totally become an EA for kids with ASDs or something like that. The kid was maybe 10 years old, but was in tune with Jacob. Which to me was amazing. Once Jacob realised what the kid was saying he jumped back into the pool and was fine for the rest of the swim.
Then Jacob asked me if he could tell mom about what happened. Jacob often wants to share his experiences with his mother, especially if I do something wrong. When he told Shannie about what happened and their upcoming trip downtown, she too was pleased. But when I offered to take Jacob downtown for lunch and goggles, he said "No way."
And when I asked why not? He told me because it was mom who had to bring him to get goggles, and not me. Oh well. I'm sure I can come for the walk, but my only worry is that when Shannie goes to the dollar store, it often costs more than a dollar.
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| Here's Jacob playing at the park. Sorry, but we can't use a camera at the pool. |
Sometimes my son will listen to others better than he will me too. He can get really angry at me and his dad sometimes. Glad Jacob calmed down and got back in the water. The goggles will help. My son used them when he got in the pool.
ReplyDeleteI hope he uses goggles when we get them. He refuses to wear a helmet, but he does wear a hat. So hopefully he likes goggles, because I'd love to just splash him in the face without having to flee afterwards.
DeleteThat boy sounds amazing! I bet his mother is proud :) I am so glad Jacob was willing to listen to him and that he had such a simple solution. I love that you were willing to step back and let the boy try, sometimes that's the hardest thing for us parents- knowing when and being able to step back. You're a good Dad, Sir.
ReplyDeleteAnd congrats to Jacob for being able to calm down!
Thanks Mac. And it can be difficult to step back. Mostly because we become experts on our children and I often try to interject, but I'm learning about autism too. And it doesn't hurt to try something new.
DeleteI am amazed at how I will say something and I'll not get a response but when someone else says the exact same thing he acts like he's never heard it before. I'm just happy he hears it from someone else and will listen to them. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is true sometimes. And I think that Jacob also has selective hearing when he needs it. When I tell him its bedtime, sometimes he doesn't hear me, but if I whisper about a snack, he hears it.
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